The Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Yesterday the world celebrated "Valentine’s Day." Everywhere we looked, we saw hearts, red roses, chocolates, and advertisements telling us that "Love is in the Air." It was a day dedicated to romance, to couples, to the celebration of love between a man and a woman.

Now, let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with romance. There is nothing wrong with flowers or a nice dinner. In fact, when a man and a woman love one another with the love of Christ, when they place God in the center of their relationship, their love is a beautiful sign of God’s faithfulness to us. It is holy. It is good.

But, my Friends, we must not be naive. We live in a culture that has completely distorted the meaning of love. What the world calls "love" today is often not love at all. It is selfishness disguised as affection. It is lust disguised as romance. And, as we will see, when this counterfeit love is stripped of its disguise, it often leads not to life, but to death.

In our Gospel today, Jesus takes us to the school of real love. He says, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill."

Jesus is raising the bar. He tells us that it is not enough to simply avoid the physical act of murder; we must not even harbor anger in our hearts. It is not enough to avoid the physical act of adultery; we must not even look at another person with lust.

Why is Jesus so strict? Is He trying to ruin our fun? Is He trying to make the moral life impossible?

No. He is trying to show us that love is not merely a feeling or an action; love is a disposition of the heart. Real love seeks the good of the other person. Counterfeit love seeks the pleasure of self.

And this brings us to the crisis of Valentine’s Day in the modern world.

It often starts innocently enough. A couple meets. They are attracted to each other. They go out for dinner. They look into each other’s eyes. They say the words, "I love you to the moon and beyond."

But for many, this is where the trap is sprung. Because in our modern understanding, "I love you" actually means, "I desire you." It means, "You make me feel good." It means, "I want to possess you."

Let me tell you a story about a young couple, Mark and Sarah.

Mark and Sarah had been dating for a few months. Valentine’s Day was approaching. Mark wanted to impress Sarah. He bought her an expensive necklace, made a reservation at a fancy restaurant, and booked a hotel room. In his mind, this was the ultimate gesture of love.

Sarah was swept up in the emotion. She felt special. She felt seen. But as the night went on, the subtle pressure began. The expectation that because he had spent money, because it was Valentine’s Day, she "owed" him. The romance of the dinner quickly turned into the selfishness of the hotel room.

They weren't married. They knew the Church’s teaching. But in that moment, the "feelings" overruled the Truth. They used each other for pleasure. They treated the other person not as a child of God to be respected, but as an object to be consumed.

The next morning, Mark felt a rush of conquest, but the connection was gone. Sarah felt empty, used, and a profound sense of shame. The "love" they celebrated the night before evaporated in the cold light of day. Why? Because it wasn't love. It was two selfish people using each other to try to fill a void that only God can fill.

But the tragedy often doesn't end there. The distortion of love creates a chain reaction of sin. Jesus warns us in the Gospel: "Everyone who divorces his wife... causes her to commit adultery."

We see a world where infidelity is rampant. Husbands cheat on wives. Wives cheat on husbands. Boyfriends and girlfriends treat commitment as a temporary convenience until something better comes along.

I think of another woman, let’s call her Debbie. Debbie was married to a man who traveled frequently for work. On one Valentine’s Day, he was away. She was lonely. An old friend reached out to her online. They started chatting. It started innocently - just "friends" catching up.

But the conversation turned to their marriages, to their dissatisfaction, to their "needs."

The digital lust that Jesus warned about - looking with desire - was happening through a screen. Eventually, they met in secret. Debbie justified it. She told herself, "My husband doesn't understand me. This man loves me for who I am."

It was a lie. It was a lie straight from the pit of hell. It wasn't love; it was a betrayal of the covenant she made before God. It destroyed her family, it devastated her children, and it left her spiritually bankrupt.

This is the result of removing God from the center of love. When God is removed, the other person stops being a "Thou" - a person to be loved - and becomes an "It" - a tool for my own gratification.

And, my Friends, when we reduce people to objects for our pleasure, we inevitably create a "throwaway culture." If a person is just an object for my pleasure, what happens when that object becomes "inconvenient"?

What happens when the act of selfish pleasure results in a new life?

This is the darkest, most evil reality of the counterfeit love that permeates our society. We have bought the lie that sex is just for recreation. But sex is for procreation and unification. It is life-giving. When we engage in the marital act outside of marriage, or when we treat it selfishly even within marriage, we are playing with fire.

And when that fire produces a child, the selfish person panics. Instead of seeing the child as a blessing from God, the selfish person sees the child as a threat. A threat to their career. A threat to their freedom. A threat to their lifestyle.

And so, the celebration of Valentine’s Day, which started with a candlelit dinner, ends with a visit to an abortion clinic.

I have sat in the confessional and heard the heartbreaking stories of women who were pressured by the very men who claimed to "love" them.

"I told him I was pregnant," one woman told me, weeping.

"He gave me money and told me to 'take care of it.' He said he wasn't ready to be a father. He said if I kept the baby, he would leave me."

That is not love. That is coercion. That is evil.

We must speak the truth about abortion, especially in the context of this "romantic" holiday. Abortion is the ultimate act of selfishness. It is the destruction of an innocent human life because that life is viewed as an inconvenience.

And it is not just the child who dies. The mother is wounded, often physically, but always spiritually and psychologically. The abortionists tell them it is "healthcare." It is not healthcare. It is violence. It is the shedding of innocent blood. The pills they push, the procedures they perform, they poison the womb - the very sanctuary where life should be nurtured.

The culture tells us this is "freedom." Jesus tells us in the Gospel that this is murder of the heart. He tells us that anger and lust lead to death. The road from the restaurant to the abortion clinic is paved with the lie that I am the center of the universe, and anyone - even my own child – who gets in the way of my happiness, must be eliminated.

Jesus says, "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away."

These are violent words. Why? Because sin is violent. Sin kills. Sin destroys. Jesus is telling us that we must be radical in cutting sin out of our lives. We must cut off the lust. We must cut off the selfishness. We must cut off the desire to use others.

If you are living with someone, you are not married to: Stop. You are playing with fire and you are offending God.

If you are cheating on your spouse: Stop. You are digging a pit for your soul.

If you are using contraception to selfishly prevent life while engaging in the act that creates life: Repent. You are saying "no" to God's creative power.

If you have had an abortion, or paid for one: Confess it. Do not let the devil keep you in shame. God's mercy is bigger than your sin, but you must turn away from that evil.

Real love is not selfish. Real love sacrifices.

Valentine’s Day should not be about what we can get from our partner. It should be about how we can give to them. It should be about how we can help them get to Heaven.

Husbands, do not look at your wife with lust; look at her with reverence. Love her as Christ loved the Church, laying down your life for her.

Wives, love your husbands with honor and respect.

Young people, do not give away your body like a cheap trinket. You are a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Let us pray for the conversion of our culture. Let us pray that the lie of "sexual freedom" is exposed for the slavery that it is. Let us pray for an end to the slaughter of the innocents.

And let us pray that on Valentine’s Day, instead of    a day of selfish pleasure, we can make it a day of true, holy, life-giving love - a love that mirrors the Cross, where Christ gave everything for us, not because we deserved it, but because we are His Beloved.

Lord Jesus, You have shown us the true meaning of Love: Sacrifice. Forgive us for the times we have used others for our own pleasure. Forgive us for the culture of death we have allowed to fester. Purify our hearts. Grant us the grace to see every person as Your beloved child. Protect the unborn. Heal the mothers who mourn. And teach us to love as You love. For You are Lord, for ever and ever. Amen.